The Impact of Inaction
In March, I decided that I was going to take a step towards being a physically healthier individual and decided to start riding my bicycle more regularly. In short, it was a success and I have since built a rhythm around cycling into my life. Over the last six months, I have learned a lot. Not only about cycling, but also about the importance of habits, setting goals, and understanding oneself.
One of the lessons that I learned is that if you aren’t actively pursuing something, you are inherently falling behind. My most ridden route is a 26-mile loop that starts at my home in the Seattle neighborhood of Ballard, travels north through the city of Shoreline, takes an eastern turn towards Lake Washington, and then winds back to Ballard via the Burke-Gilman Trail. It’s a beautiful ride that fits perfectly into my workday exercise time slot.
As you can see from the photo, I have ridden this route over a dozen times. Since my first outing, I have seen an overall increase in my performance level. However, you may notice that there are two places in the graph where my performance dipped. The culprit? Inaction.
This summer I had two different opportunities to go on sailing trips with my family. After growing up in the desert of southern Idaho, I have fallen in love with the water that is abundant in the Pacific Northwest and I’m always excited to spend time sailing around the San Juan Islands—off the western coast of Washington. The only problem with sailing is that it is very impractical to bring a bicycle. So, as you may have realized by now, the two dips in my performance above are each representative of the rides directly following a week of lounging at sea.
The point of the story is that things in life rarely remain static. In most cases, we are either growing or languishing. Inactivity rarely yields a net-zero. In fact, most of the time when we don’t act, when we stay silent, or when we ignore some facet of life the result is negative. Inactivity always has an impact.
Tying Inaction to Discipleship
In a recent blog post, I talked about family discipleship and why it is important for the home to be the starting point of every Christian child’s faith journey.
In that article, I said, “Raising Christian kids is, in its very essence, discipleship.”
This is 100% true. However, the follow-up question is, “What are you discipling them towards?”
One of the key things to realize is that the core question of discipleship is identity. The truth is that our priorities, passions, and actions are an extension of our identity and our kids soak it all in. They look at the things that bring us joy and the things that we spend time pursuing and it’s those things that they in turn focus on.
Another key thing to consider is that the human heart was created for worship. Time and time again throughout the Old Testament, we see the Israelite’s proclivity towards worship misdirected towards things of the world instead of towards God. Unfortunately, the temptation is just as strong today. The culture worships individualism, materialism, status, and workaholism and is beckoning us to do the same.
If we aren’t actively discipling our kids towards Jesus, then in the vacuum of our inaction, with culture as our co-instructor, we are teaching them to worship something else.
If inactivity always has an impact, let’s do something about it.
So building on our previous statement. Raising Christian kids is, in its very essence, discipleship that is rooted in actively modeling Christian identity.
For Christian identity to grow and flourish it needs care and attention. Not only in our kids, but in ourselves. In fact, as I alluded to above, we can’t pass on a passion for Jesus if we aren’t cultivating it in ourselves.
8 Ways to Actively Model Christian Identity
Modeling Christian identity can take on a variety of forms, some passive, some focused on engagement with kids, but in every case intentionality is key. Here is a short list of ways to disciple your kids through modeling Christian identity and resources to make it easy and fun.
Cultivate Personal Spiritual Disciplines
Spiritual disciplines are simply God-focused faith practices that help us connect with God. A few common examples include prayer, meditation, Bible study, and gratitude. There are so many reasons to cultivate a thriving spiritual life with God, but for today's purposes, practicing spiritual disciplines models for our kids what it tangibly looks like to pursue a relationship with God. One of the key ways that Jesus taught the disciples was through setting aside time to pray and pursue the will of God in heaven. One of the very best things you can do for your kids is to create a daily routine of spending time with God.
If you'd like to learn more about spiritual disciplines and receive a fresh perspective on how to practice them, I wrote a simple but really helpful guide called Spiritually Fit. Click here to download it for free.
Talk About What God is Showing You
It is equally important that as a family you talk about the ways you see God at work. The "old-school" word for this is a testimony. Your testimony doesn't have to be much, instead, simply pointing out the little lessons that God is teaching you every day can be the most impactful. One of the really great parts of this method of modeling is that it goes both ways. You can both share what God is doing in your life and you can ask the other people in your family to share what God is doing in their life.
If you'd like to make a family activity out of this method, you should try one of my favorite activities from our family devotional, "God Sightings." "God Sightings" challenges your family to be on the lookout for places where God is at work throughout the day and provides a family log for you to record what you see. You can download that activity by clicking here.
Pray Daily
Whether it be a blessing before school or a bedtime prayer before shutting off the lights, pray with each family member every day including your spouse. In the same way that our children learn to talk, they learn to pray by watching and listening to you. No matter their age, your kids will always benefit from you leading them in prayer and praying on their behalf.
If you are looking for a new prayer practice, I highly recommend that you check out my new book on biblical blessings. It's specifically designed to give you the words to pray God's truth over your kids and it is useful for kids from ages 0-18. Check out May They Be Blessed by clicking here.
Create a Family Devotional rhythm
Creating a family habit around devotions is a great way to model the importance of Christian identity. When you show up at a given time consistently and invite your kids into a moment focused on God, you are communicating to them that your family values intentionally seeking after God. Some families do a quick, but consistent check-in at dinner. Others find it easier to connect at breakfast time. Personally, I am a huge fan of incorporating devotions and God-focused activities into a weekly family night.
There are two key aspects to making family night sustainable and successful. First, you must put family night on the calendar and guard it against any other opportunities that come up. Once you decide on a family night, I bet that it will become the most sought after night of the week. Keep in mind that as seasons change so too might the weeknight for family night. Second, make sure that you have fun. Bible reading and reflection have their place, but spice up your night by having fun questions and activities to make your topic come to life for your kids.
If you are looking for a resource that will help you confidently prepare for family night and then smash it out of the park with conversation topics and activities for all ages, check out our devotional.
Post Blessings and Bible Verses Around the House
Deuteronomy 6:9 encourages us to, keep God's commandments and "write them on the doorposts of our houses and on our gates." Another great way to model Christian identity is to post blessing and bible verses around our home. This helps us to keep God at the center of our thoughts and also function as words of encouragement to get us through our days. I absolutely love finding little notes of encouragement around the house. Whether they are on the bathroom mirror, the corkboard by the door, or my bedside table. I also love sharing them with others. They make a great addition to a lunch box or tucked in a shoe.
If you'd like to start posting encouraging sticky notes around your home, I've compiled 25 bible verses and blessings for you and you can download that here.
Share Doubts
This may seem counterintuitive, but research shows that one of the best ways to help your kids develop a lasting and durable faith is to help them learn to deal with doubt. Successfully modeling your Christian identity means letting your kids know that it is okay to doubt. When you share your doubt, you normalize it. When you ask God to help you understand in their presence, you show them what to do when they have doubts down the road. When you lean in and choose to pursue God, you show them that you will continue to love God in the midst of your doubt because you know God can handle it.
If you are interested in reading more on doubt, check out this blog post.
Prioritize Church
Attending church regularly is so tricky for busy families when times are normal. Right now, with many of us attending online or in other socially distant formats, it can seem nearly impossible. However, prioritizing church and participating in a church community is hugely important for the faith development of your kids. Aside from the obvious aspects, such as learning about God, prioritizing church sends a very clear message to our kids. Worshipping God and being apart of the body of Christ is what is important to our family. Another great benefit of attending church regularly is being apart of the Christian family. Being Christian comes with its own set of traditions, celebrations, and God-focused practices, many of which are most powerfully experienced with others.
Practice Christian Hospitality
Practicing hospitality is another tricky action in this season. However, when done safely, regularly participating in Christian hospitality is another amazing way to model Christian identity. When you have other Christian adults in your home and you spend time talking about God, even simply praying before a meal, your kids witness you walking the talk of your faith. They see that you are willing to take a social risk for God, even if you perceive that risk to be low. Life around the table with friends and family is what we were created for. Find time to regularly gather, eat, and play with others.
If you are looking for an activity that promotes table fellowship, I highly recommend a board game. To find a game that will fit your family well, check out this blog.